There was a time when looking after myself wasn't a battle. I didn't have to force myself to eat well. I didn't need motivation videos or habit trackers or promises about "starting again on Monday". It was simply who I was. For years I was disciplined with food. Not in an obsessive way, but in … Continue reading The Part of Me That Disappeared
This piece was written as a letter — from who I am now, to who I was during a severe depressive episode related to bipolar disorder. I’m sharing it not as recovery content, nor as proof of resilience, but as an act of honesty. There are parts of mental illness that don’t translate well into … Continue reading A Letter From the Future You Didn’t Believe In
This is my 44th time sitting down to write here. Not because I always felt clear or confident, but because returning — again and again — has become part of how I grow. Living with bipolar has shaped how I listen to myself, how I reflect, and how honestly I show up on the page. … Continue reading Continuance
“Not all those who wander are lost.”― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring Life ruled by medication, I know I am not the only one but it’s a hard pill to swallow (pun intended). To know your moods can only be controlled by some chemicals is difficult. You have to give up control and recognise its … Continue reading Contaminated
"If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on!” – Sheryl Sandberg Now I have explained a ‘high’, I can only really go into the low. I have already alluded to the low I had last time around. It was after my second intense psychosis come mania. My … Continue reading Subjugated
“The human capacity for burden is like bamboo – far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance” – Jodi Picoult To the moon, JNR CHOI - the song I listened to a lot when I was in my mania, literally felt like I was just sitting there alone talking to the moon. I … Continue reading Micro management
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” - Roy T Bennett Brave is something I have been called many times over and its honestly something I never thought I would be called (no offence to those who called me that). I … Continue reading Valorous
“Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot. Seek the path that demands your whole being.” ~ Rumi I didn’t want to give in, I didn’t want to stop. I was too scared to find out what would happen if I stopped. I was told growth is not linear. When I first considered growth I was … Continue reading Futile
A new store, where clothing is made to embrace feelings
Having more time to contemplate and sit with my feelings, I have decided to share some thoughts that have come up during this period. Without realising I have buried myself under a myriad of negative thoughts What do you do when you want to change, you want the negative thoughts to morph into the positive? … Continue reading A Series of Pandemic feelings – Cluttered
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