Valorous

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” – Roy T Bennett

Brave is something I have been called many times over and its honestly something I never thought I would be called (no offence to those who called me that). I thought there was a possibility that I would be seen as attention seeking. But, whatever to get my message out. Its needed because more people need to know.

It’s not an easy feat and sometimes I wish I was braver than you guys realise, I am going through some turmoil at the moment (as I always will). Being in a space when I feel better there are so many people that are really worried about my trajectory. Which I completely and totally understand.

I wish I was brave more often, in the face of it I am not, I would rather dig my head so deeply in the sand, which I am accused of more often than not. How do I make sure I don’t follow the same path as years previous? It’s hard to think it’s so natural for it to happen again, it’s like switching from hot to a cold faucet, that’s how easy I may have the capacity to switch sometimes, however there are always signs. Like I have mentioned previously, talking fast and a lot, not sleeping, not eating, spending A LOT even driving like a moron (hence the revoking of a licence), not breathing in a regular rhythm, thinking you are invincible (to anything and everything). It may sound like fun and even when you are in it, it is, but in reality it is not.

Each time I go through it the worse it gets, that’s always inevitable I suppose. The reason why so many that ‘battle through it’ finally give up. That can be my reality but I won’t let it, I cant.

The next few years are not going to be easy but nonetheless it’s something I have to manage and maintain. Thank you all for your support and messages, it really means a lot to me, more than you can imagine.

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